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nofio ([info]nofio) wrote,
@ 2007-04-01 20:54:00

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*facepalm*
I was skimming over my most recent fic and came across this line:

Vampire instincts took over and soon Sirius was immersed in the feeling of hot warm blood sliding down his throat. His whole body felt warm and comfortable and good, so good.

Hot warm blood? And then I have the word "warm" again in the next sentence. How did I miss this? Dun dun dun.

Anyhow, I've gone in and changed it to this:

Vampire instincts took over and soon Sirius was immersed in the feeling of warm blood sliding down his throat. His whole body felt comfortably electrified and, and good, so good.

So it's much better now.


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